I really must say 2010 is passing freaking fast.
My mind is still stucking at the period of 2010 countdown,Chinese New Year,Holidays and times when my armpit hair is still long and bushy.
Yeah,I just fucking shaved my armpit hair!
Yeah one of my new year resolution is finally down,I cant stand my armpit hair so bushy and long man.
Anyway there are alot of weird weird insects inhabiting in my cute little house.
Lizards,beetle,centipede and alot others.
Just now my stomach was aching and so I went to the toilet and relaxed.
Then dont know what the heck happened to my house.
In front of me is a big big beetle.
But how the fuck I will expect that there will be a beetle at my house.
So I was like thinking to myself what is that.
THEN IT FUCKING MOVED!
I jitao pulled up my pants and run away.
Lucky I just sat down and my da bian havent come out,or else I will be stuck at there with the beetle.
So I told my mother about the beetle,and my mother actually say that that's an ant.
Like what the hell man,obviously is a beetle man,adults ah...
Every insects also ant.
I will definitely drown myself in drugs if one day she saw a bee and told me that its a yellow ant which can fly.
Stress life.
My mother was clearing my closet and saw a lizard.
Luckily she realised that it's not an ant.
Anyway,she took out all my clothes to catch that lizard.
And she brought forth her legendary equipment to catch the lizard.
The equipment is something like a very very long tongs,those equipment those rubbish cleaner giap the rubbish up from the floor one.
No idea where she get that.
She still showed off to me the equipment cost only 70cents.
Whatever.
AND it's not the tongs that caught the lizard,she was trying to use the tongs to "giap" the lizard out for around....15minutes?
In the end,the lizard just keep crawl around and my mother finally asked for my father for assistance.
My father just took a cloth,and took the lizard up and threw it away.
Poor lizard.
Wondered what the lizard was thinking the moment it was treated this way.
"OIIII PAIN LAH,OIIIIII,STEADY,GIVE CHANCE GIVE CHANCE,I OWNSELF CRAWL OUT OF YOUR HOUSE,OI STEADY LEH!"
Hah,and did I mentioned I am the one standing allllll the way behind,preparing to run away if the lizard crawled out.
I really cant imagine what if when I am a parent and my house got those scary insects man.
I can see the future of me screaming together with my children.
BUT CANNOT! I AM A MAN!
I must hide a pistol in my house next time,muahahhahaahha!
Child:AHHHH PAPA,GOT LIZARD!!!
Me:No problem
*BANG!*
Me:Merry christmas
YEAH MAN THATS MY PLAN!