Other than a meet up dinner with the clique,today is somehow a bad day.
BusStats result is a huge dissapointment,that's really over confident and proud.
Tomorrow is ahma 1 yr anniversary according to the chinese date.
Parents is tidying up her closet.
After her death,I had like totally ignored her,only praying respect to her on some special occasion.
But now when I saw her clothings in the closet,I felt really despondent.
Didnt really talked to her when she is still alive.
Pissing her off and treating her transparent are what me and my brother best at.
But who knows that fateful day will arrives,so suddenly,we were all not prepared.
That morning,aunts and uncles came to my house and shockingly,ahma cant wake up from her sleep.
They called the ambulance immediately and the ambulance arrived in a short while.
By the time those guys came up to bring her to the ambulance,she was slightly awake but weak.
When those guys laid their hands on her,she tried very hard to push their hands away.
But we just dont care about her and brought her to the ambulance with brute force.
In the hospital,she was already awake,there she was begging my father and other uncles to bring her back to home and crying over there.
I couldnt understand why,and it was until when she left,I understand that maybe she just want to leave peacefully at her home,her place,on her bed,at a place she felt most comfortable at.
But we just couldnt understand.
At night,my uncle called my family and said she was gone.
We rushed to the hospital and there she was lying,on the bed,breathless.
Beside her,was some blood stains,and I believed that she must have struggled very hard to get out of the hospital,I was really extremely sad.
I still cannot accept the fact that she was gone,she was no different from she was sleeping usually.
But even though she looks similar,tears still kept rolling down and I was calling desperately for her name in my mind.
We returned home and her funeral was being set up below my block.
This is the time I felt that pain which I didnt realised when there was funeral below my flat.
I couldnt sleep that night and during the funeral,crying was all I can do.
My mum kept console ourselves by saying that she had left with a smile on her face.
But we are no longer kids,I am 17 that time and I knew the fact that she left without looking at our face for the last time and bidding farewell to us.
The funeral didnt flows successfully,there was still quarrels here and there,even months after the funeral.
And now here I am typing all these,I am thinking perharps I can asked her for any solutions towards all of these shit happening these few days,but I knew that I never have the chance.
My mother and her are loggerheads for years,quarreling,arguing almost everyday but seriously,what's left behind those conflictment after my ahma's death,sadness and regrets are all I can think of.
Therefore,I hope my friends who are still quarreling with each other to let it go.
You dont like me,I dont like you,we quarrelled and we dislike each other even more.
What's the use? To make oneself feels great and happy? When will all these stop?
Dont you all feel tired?
Anyway,read an article about national service yesterday night.
I was greatly demoralized by it,even though I am someone who dread going NS.
It was written by a father whose sons are going to NS in a few years time.
He stated that he is proud that his sons are going to the NS and is proud that his children are becoming real and upright men after that service.
And that's what he said in the end of the article.
"A brave,young and highly-decorated British soldier Kevin Elliot was recently killed in action in Afghanistan,and brought home to rest. No father would like his sons to be a casualty of war. But I am encouraging you both to do NS not because I believe in war,but because I believe in peace."
Salutes. ^^
Though irrelevant,but my dear friends,what are you guys fighting for?